DEATH

Sooner or later, death finds us all, but it finds some of us with our pants down. Most people spend their whole lives seeking a good death. For some this comes easily in the glory of battle or in service to others. But for these people; not so much…

Greek philosopher Chrysippus died laughing while he watched his drunken donkey trying to eat figs.

When George Plantagenet was sentenced to death; he chose to meet his maker by drowning in a barrel of Malmsey wine.

Tycho Brahe decided he would rather die than offend his hosts by leaving the banquet to go to the loo. His wish was granted and a burst bladder dispatched him at the dinner table which; according to: “Our Lady of Fatima Book of Etiquette for Young Ladies Vol. 1” is an even greater faux pas.

Carl McCunn planned to spend several months in the bush, taking wildlife pictures. He got a pilot to drop him in a remote location, but failed to make arrangements for his return. He shot himself when starvation became inevitable.

It was the day before her 100th birthday and Debbie Mills was crossing the road on her way to her party when the truck carrying her birthday cake ran into her wheelchair, killing her instantly.

Michael Lewis had a fight with lover Tony Berry. He drugged him, stripped him and dropped him off in Harlem wearing a sign which read: “Death to N——s’. Two minutes later, Berry was dead.

Jay Newton perished when colleague, BrianHartley, accidentally released a harness holding a twenty ton killer whale at SeaWorld in Florida. Newton was examining the harness at the time and was crushed to death.

Brett Tyler and Chelsea Tumbleston waited tables together at the Wild Wing Café in South Carolina. Overcome with mutual ardour, they slipped up to the roof to have public relations. Inexplicably, their love making took a turn for the worse when they both fell off the roof and died, naked on thepavement below.